When I flew to Vancouver for a wedding some weeks ago, a friend said to me “have fun on your vacation from your vacation!”, which I thought was quite hilarious. Is that the general consensus?
It’s been almost exactly one year since I set sail from Monnikendam, Holland, singlehanded, and here I am in New York. When I re-read the post about my departure, it genuinely felt like I’d left just several hours ago. I can still smell the hickory in the air from the Eel smoke house; I still remember shaking the dockmasters hand as I left on that rainy day; a line squall on the horizon… There was no one else around, it was a weekday, as I pushed out the bow and jumped onboard, motoring out through Amsterdam and the North Sea canal. It rained like never before, and I whistled a happy tune as the rain trickled down my neck, and ‘August the mighty Yanmar’ powered us through the centre of Amsterdam.
It wasn’t long before that, when Constellation was sitting on jack stands in a marina in England. I was living onboard, working part time in a pub so I could work on the boat, climbing the ladder every night, waking up to sand the hull, and then repeating the previous days schedule. Every day felt heavy on the one hand, yet full of endless promise on the other. I had this lovely boat, and a wonderful dream, yet we’d never sailed together before, I had no cash reserves other than my weekly paycheck from the pub, which was quickly spent at the chandlery. And still I told everyone who asked, that I was sailing to Australia.
That feeling has returned: Constellation is back up on jack stands, only this time, on another continent. She’s beaten and battered, we have over 6000 nautical miles under our belts, and yet there is a heavy feeling in the air again… It’s that same sense I had every morning I woke up in England – Of impossibility, yet an unnerving compulsion to keep going. In England the challenge was to just to get the boat in the water – To see if she floated, and to see if we could float together. Amazingly we did, and in the end we floated all the way down the coast of Europe to the Caribbean, and then north again to New York.
So as the leaves change colour again, Constellation is on land, and the new challenge is to put her on a truck, and go overland 3000 miles to the Pacific. That challenge is the new weight on my shoulders, as we battle on to keep the voyage going. I was laughed at for suggesting I was going to sail across the Atlantic, and now I’m being laughed at for suggesting I’d truck a boat across America, following closely behind on a bicycle. In fact, when I say it out loud, I can really see the absurdity of it all, and do seriously spend days wondering what exactly it is I’m doing. The large majority of my friends are well placed professionals; some have kids, others have husbands and wives, and some even have dogs and houses. I mostly shudder at the thought of having any of that, yet the built-in societal sanity checker is in overdrive – Lately I can’t help but wonder if I’ve surging ahead, or being left behind. In my days of great realisations, I know there is nothing to be ahead of, or behind, yet we all have periods of self-doubt, and mine are triggered by seeing a small red boat out of water.
So in the midst of all this, I recently received the “Seamanship Trophy” for my voyage so far, from the Contessa Association in the UK. I was never one for awards, nor for trophies, yet receiving unsolicited pats on the back from sailing associations is certainly rather nice. Special thanks to Jo Mooring Aldridge for accepting the trophy on my behalf, and thank you to the Contessa association for their support of my endeavours.
And so the vacation continues… Yet, as far as I’m concerned, vacations are lovely periods of sitting on the beach, spending the first week in utter relaxation, and the last week thinking about going back to work. Technically I have no job to go back to, yet the past year has been in that latter mode of vacation – You’re not at work, per se, yet your head is totally consumed. This last year has been the greatest, as well as the hardest in my life, and I’m not even half way, with every spare brain cycle dedicated to continuing this journey. Since this projects inception in mid-2006, it’s all I can think of, it consumes me every single day, it’s what I dread most, and it’s all I can do.
Thank you so much to everyone who’s been following so far,
nick.
September 15th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
>I was laughed at for suggesting I was going to sail across the Atlantic, and now I’m being laughed at for suggesting I’d truck a boat across America, following closely behind on a bicycle. In fact, when I say it out loud, I can really see the absurdity of it all, and do seriously spend days wondering what exactly it is I’m doing.<
Nicholas, … this is called search and destroy … searching within onesself as to the limits of ones capabilities. You create your own obsticles for yourself … picture yourself … bicycling behind a vehicle backpacking ‘Constellation with ‘August the mighty Yanmar’ … and then give it a name …
like … ‘MarePerpolon’ …
This is all quite different what you do. I’d call it: ‘ Kafka on the shore ‘ … get that book, by a Japanese author. Life works on many levels, but one cannot imping them within one time.
Call Lance Armstrong … ask him what he thinks … or Brian Phelps.
Bon chance from my side. Man o man.
Micharl
September 15th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
I have a theory that for every person locked down in a boring day job, struggling to pay the mortgage, there *MUST* be an artist, musician, traveller or other non-conformist out there on the boundaries to carry the flag. So switch the sanity checker off mate. Those things are always calibrated using a conservative reference point anyway.
T2X
September 16th, 2008 at 5:24 am
You’ll be fine, Moby Nick. Absolutely fine.
September 16th, 2008 at 6:20 am
Great entry Nick. Well done for getting to New York and I know that I am going to enjoy reading about your cycle trip across the USA, have you any routes yet?
Pete
September 16th, 2008 at 9:18 am
Nick, can you imagine being caught up in the daily hum-drum like everyone else? You are doing what everyone else can only dream about beacuase they are not always brave enough to take the leap! Living life isn’t, in my opinion, about working to get money to spend it on living and starting again. It is hard and stressful but that is part that make you able to meet new people, see new places and live like you are for a few years. My adventure crashed and burned last week so for now you’re insanity-as you so call it-is keeping hopes alive in me and probably many others around the world who are following you.
Have a beer and enjoy it, even the rough patches.
September 16th, 2008 at 10:08 am
Nick,
done the house dog and steady job thing as you know – sitting on the boat (yes more work yet to be done) is still more fun and more of a challenge than getting up and going to work everyday. We are still hoping to get across to the Carib. this year but I am guessing that by the time we make it to NY next year you will be well and truly gone – pedal hard to keep up with the boat
Matt & Karen
September 16th, 2008 at 11:49 am
hauling out is always discouraging. what could be more unnatural than a boat on land?
you’ll use these cold months to organize and though they may prove dreary at times, your splash in the springtime will taste that much more sweet.
never listen to landlubbers laddie.
congratulations on the trophy!
September 16th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
You’re doing well not to let yourself get bogged down by other people’s expectations/ideals. At 27 you’ve got plenty of time for all that domestic stuff/serious job – whatever – later on! (at least that’s what I keep telling myself!) You only live once… and all that.
I’ve been enjoying following the tales of your adventure the last 12 months, and think what you’ve accomplished is awesome. Keep it up. Stay safe.
September 17th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Thanks everyone for your encouragement! I was having a little bit of a down day on this entry, as you can probably see. The society checker has been promptly switched off, thrown in the bin and sent packing. Promise!
As for cycling routes – None have been set in stone as yet. I’m still working hard to make money to keep my head above water. Things are coming together, slowly slowly, but it’s all big logistical operation, so it’s not easy!
moby nick.
September 25th, 2008 at 9:46 am
Hey Nick cool to read you man !Good to see you turned the society checker off as you say but I think is good to talk aboout as it is such a powerful force for so many.
September 26th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Nick great post. I hope you find what you are looking for.